The Walk Back
by LordGranthamsGirl
Summary: After the memorial service, Carson and Hughes walk back to the Abbey together. This story picks up after that walk.


A/N: The Walk and what happened after...in my shipper mind.

Charles Carson sat alone in his pantry. It was late and his heart was heavy. He had asked Mrs. Hughes to join him for sherry but she declined. She was hurting. He hurt for her yet this damn sense of propriety and rules always seemed to cut him off at the pass. He loathed that part of himself. It was the 1920's. Things were changing whether he chose to embrace it or not. He was tired of the ache deep in his chest. It pained him to see Mrs. Hughes cry but it angered him that he couldn't comfort her properly, the way he longed to. He felt like a failure again.

Elsie Hughes sat in the small rocker in her bedroom. It had been an exhaustive day, emotionally. She was broken with grief for the Bates' and the part she had played once again in their lives didn't seem to help. She was tired of the secrets, the covering up, especially with Mr. Carson. It pained her to have to lie to him. However, this was never her secret to tell...or at least she keeps telling herself that. She could not hold her emotions today with him. Her heart was so heavy and she longed for him to comfort her. She knew he cared, he just was too damn proper to show her.

It was after midnight when Mr. Carson finally rose from the comfortable leather chair in his pantry and plodded up the stairs to his bedroom. He stopped at her door, closed his eyes and leaned his head against it. They were both getting on in years and the day to day of running this grand house was weighing heavily on both of them. He wanted to rest, to sleep in as long as he wanted, ached now to be free to do what he wanted...wanted to take her to dinner, to the sea for the day. If the truth be known he thought of little else of late. He wanted her to be his wife, to love her freely and hold her without the glaring eyes of propriety and the rules of service. He ran his knuckles softly down her door.

Elsie turned her head toward the door, thinking she had heard something. She then heard his familiar footsteps, quiet, reverent, into his bedroom. Her heart ached even more. She just wanted to be with him, spend her life with him. She was ready to retire, ready to explore whatever it was that had been brewing between them. The shore excursion had proved to be a turning point but for every step forward with him, it was 2 steps back. _What is he so afraid of? _She could not sleep. She needed to talk, she needed to tell him or she was going to explode. She was sick with worry about what Mr. Carson would do when he found out she had been lying. She couldn't stand it anymore. It would come out...soon and she had nothing to lose but his trust. She swung her legs over the bed and reached for her robe.

Charles lay atop the bed, his hands folded neatly across his stomach. He was near sleep, drowsy but not quite free of the days remains in his mind. He turned his head slightly when he though he heard foot steps. A very faint knock on his door set his heart to racing. He quickly pulled his robe on and freed the door from its latch. His breath caught to find her standing there. The hallway lamp cast a faint glow across her face, it was shimmering with face cream and he could see the red rings around her eyes. Her tears. He pulled the door back. "Mrs. Hughes?" He whispered, his voice still gruff and low.

"I'm sorry to wake you Mr. Carson." She lowered her head and her chin started to quiver. She closed her eyes and willed herself to grab ahold of her emotions. "I wondered...if...you...if we...could talk a moment...?"

She lifted her face and the sad smile she gave him was nearly too much for him.

"Of course..." he stepped back and let her come in.

"I'm sorry." she voiced again before tears came streaming down her face.

"Oh Mrs. Hughes...won't you tell me what has vexed you so..." he ached to touch her.

She looked around the floor, trying to push down the emotion but she couldn't. Her eyes met his. "Would you hold me?" her voice was barely a whisper.

Charles Carson stood for what seemed like an eternity, his heart beating double time, his hands now sweaty. She was giving him the opportunity to comfort her and he had a choice to make. '_Walk through the door mate or shut it forever.' _That thought went through his mind and fear settled in his soul for an instant. Fear of losing her. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her close to his chest. "Shhh...there now...it will be alright love."

If it weren't for her genuine need, she might have fallen right apart to hear him call her love but she was too desperate for his touch, his comfort, those strong arms to hold her. She was falling apart in another way.

They stood that way for a long time. It was she that moved first. "There's something I need to tell you." She says quietly, swallowing nervously.

He furrows his brow and senses this is very serious. He pulls her back and looks into her eyes. "Okay..."

"Mr. Carson, I think you better sit down." Elsie feels sick to her stomach and a little dizzy. She sits in the chair across from his bed and he sits on the edge of the bed.

"The night Dame Nellie was here, do you remember?"

"Of course..."

"Anna left the concert because she had a head ache. She wanted to go get a powder." Elsie worried her fingers, stared at them for a long while before going on, emotion heavy in her throat. "She never returned...the concert ended and we all came back downstairs." Tears begin to form again in Elsie's eyes and Charles sits forward on his seat, closer to her than before. His heart was pounding, he is hoping beyond hope she is not going to say what the man from Scotland yard eluded to in his office earlier in the week.

"Please...go on..."

Tears dropped onto her cheeks and she closed her eyes. "Oh Mr. Carson...when I came into my sitting room, there was Anna. She was crouched behind my bureau. Her face was...bloody." She bit her lip, tried to stifle the emotion. "...her dress ripped, her hair a mess..."

He closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and grinds his teeth together.

"She...had been raped Mr. Carson." Mrs. Hughes let out a choking sob, covering her mouth with her hand.

Carson could not take it in. He stood in silence, stunned. Mrs. Hughes' tears continued. She felt so horrible. Everything she thought was right seemed wrong. She should have told him, she should have went straight to him so they could handle this properly. Now Anna was sitting in a jail cell for the murder of Mr. Green.

"I'm sorry Mr. Carson..." she whispered.

"Mrs. Hughes...how could you keep something like this from me!" He struggled to keep his voice steady. He was angry but not with her necessarily. He was frustrated with her and she detected it in his voice immediately.

"I'm sorry...I...swore to Anna I would not tell. It wasn't what I wanted to do Mr. Carson. She threatened to kill herself." Desperate tears poured down Mrs. Hughes' face.

Charles Carson was quickly realizing how difficult this has been for her. It broke his heart to see her cry and now know how much she has been trying to keep inside. She had been carrying this horrible secret for too long. "Oh Mrs. Hughes. I'm sorry...I'm so _very_ sorry." He thought to reach for her but wasn't sure how she would react to his touch. He let her calm down before speaking again. He did get his handkerchief out and offer it to her. She took it and wiped at her cheeks, her nose.

"Mr. Carson. I wanted to tell you. I did. I wanted..no_ needed_... your wise council so many times but I was so afraid for Anna...what she might do...if she knew anyone else knew."

"Oh poor girl. Poor you" He emphasizes. "I understand your reasoning but Mrs. Hughes, this worries me very much. You've lied to the policy?!" His expression is nothing less than fear.

"I haven't lied...exactly. She walked away from him, contemplating. "I've been asked what I know about Mr. Green's death and I know nothing about it. I swear it." She turned to face him, needing to know he believed her.

Charles closed his eyes and tilted his head. "Of course. I believe you..."

Elsie was exhausted now but she felt the weight of world had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt at peace, knowing that Charles knew and that he was on her side. "What do I do Mr. Carson?" She stepped to him, her eyes pleading with him.

He took ahold of her elbow and moved her to his bed. "Right now you lie down and rest. You won't be any good to anyone or yourself if you don't get some rest."

"But Mr. Carson...I can't..."

"I insist. I want you here..." he swallowed hard. "...with me..." His eyes searched hers.

She smiled tenderly. "Where will you lie down silly man..."

"I'll sleep in the chair beside you. I need to think...decide what we should do."

'_We..'_ she thought silently and her heart skipped a beat, thinking how much she truly loves him. She regretted not telling him the moment she felt the urge to...which was the night it happened. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner...truly..." her voice was low as she took his hand, sitting on the edge of his bed.

He joined her, sitting close, thighs touching. She pulled her robe over her legs as well as she could but Charles could not help but look when a flash of her bare calf was exposed. He licked his lips, his face so close to hers. "I forgive you...we will get through this...together. I won't let you do this alone for another minute." Suddenly his mouth was completely dry, he tried to swallow.

Elsie reached up and touched his cheek, rough yet warm. She eyed him longingly with tears pooling in the corners.

Charles leaned into her touch, reaching up to pad away a tear that had escaped it's boundaries. "Mrs. Hughes...Elsie...may I call you Elsie?" He whispered.

"Yes..of course..."

"You're an amazing woman Elsie Hughes." He breathed into the very tiny space between them.

She ducked her head and he lifted her chin with his finger. "I mean it. And I don't tell you enough that you inspire me and make me want to be a better man...you always have."

"Oh Mr. Carson...get away with you!" She smiled and tried to avert her eyes but he wouldn't let her. Before she knew anything else she felt the tender warmth of his lips on hers and she gasped.


End file.
